Though most parents think that the
best parenting is achieved by constantly praising their children for being
smart, studies have proven that is not always the case. When you tell a child
that they’re smart, it often promotes complacency, especially at school. This
is because kids who are told that they’re smart, are put in a mindset that they
don’t need to put effort into anything in order to succeed. This complacency
also affects these kids in school when they’re presented with anything that
challenges their intelligence. When facing adversity in school, it’s been seen
that students who are constantly praised for being smart, will give up a lot quicker
than those praised for their hard work and determination. The complete opposite
behavior is seen in children who are instead told that they’re hard workers. This
type of praise seems to motivate these kids to put maximum effort into everything
they do. The same happens when children are taught that intelligence is not innate
but rather something that can be improved by challenging the brain. It’s
important to note that in both cases, the behavior of students tends to continue
all the way to college. Students who were praised for their “smarts” growing
up, typically cheat on schoolwork and tests more often because they’ve always
tried to maintain their image as a “smart student”, and so are not used to coping
with failure. As Po Bronson says in the video The Myth of Praise, parents want
to be an angel on their child’s shoulder, riding along with them to give them confidence.
This is fine, but parents need to realize that the praise they give their child
should be specific and helpful for their development, not something insincere
and vague that gets thrown out constantly like “You’re so smart”, which
ultimately can be detrimental to their precious child’s success.
